6/24/10
I am not even going to post my food today. To embarrassing to even admit. I am not sure what I am going to do. How to move on from here. I am feeling utterly hopeless and helpless. I don’t know how to get my mojo back. I feel disgusted, lonely, sad, scared and angry. How do you feel that all at one time without exploding? I want to lose this weight so bad. Well, to be honest with you I just want to be skinny. If I could chop it off I would. Feeling really sorry for myself today. Not sure what I can do to snap out of it. This week Phil has been gone has really derailed me. But I let it. Almost embraced it. Like he wouldn’t know. Maybe he is a disgusted with me as I am with myself. Maybe that’s why he didn’t have any time to talk to me this week. I hate what I have become and what I am letting myself become again. God, please help me.
