June 9. 2010

Well I am going to try this again. Losing weight that is.
I feel like I have been trying to do this my whole life.
Personally, I am sick of it. Sick of being fat. Sick of being tired.
Sick of making excuses. Sick of not being all that I can be.
But mostly, I am sick of not taking advantage of what my Lord God
Has given me. I am healthy (except for the whole morbidly obese thing) but really how much longer will that last. I have a wonderful family, I can see, hear, feel, reason. I have two perfectly good legs to take me where I want to go. And still, I seem to always be depressed. Not clinically depressed. I am not taking medication. Sometimes I wish I was. But I am stuck in this cycle of self pity and constantly thinking of me, me, me. I mean we do have to think about ourselves but within reason. But all I seem to be able to think about is me and food. I fool myself into thinking that “I have to make a plan, I have to give myself some thought” but come on. It is moving into selfishness. I call bullshit on myself. And I am vowing to change it now. Well Friday. I have to get back into the game mentally and physically. Here is my plan.

Fridays A.M.-weigh and post weight
Do one nice thing for someone else a day and report
Write 5 things I am grateful for
Track food intake
Exercise 4-5 days a week
Become more present in my life and the lives of my family
STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF