Life is so stressful. At work my boss has decided she wants to "help" me. Okay. Except I have been here since October and after 2 weeks you disappeared on me and basically said sink or swim and now you want to help me. We are having issues with our new billing software but does she help with that, no. That's where I really need the help and she is no where. I explain it all to her and she says okay and walks away. Than when no money is coming in it is my fault and she leaves me notes about how to do my job.

Money is incredibly tight and that always makes me crazy. We are taking the girls to Myrtle Beach and now I am not sure if we will be able to afford it. I hate that I suck at managing money and Phil wont help me. Since we have split our money he has been tight with his. I have loaned him over $500.00 but he hasnt paid any of it back. I pay all the bill except Satalite and storage (which he doesn't pay) my own gas and groceries and he acts like I am a terrible person if I ask him to help. He gets totally pissed off at me so I hate to ask but I a sinking and he doesn't care and blames me when I am broke. It is my fault but I am very overwhelmed.

And of course, my weight sucks balls. Just keeps going up and up and up.

Grandma died on the 14th. She has always been a part of my life and now a huge chunk is missing. And I guess that side of the family is gone now. They never really liked me anyway it just took me this long to realize it fully. I wish my mom was here. I really could use a shoulder to cry on.

God please help me.
Karen

I have gone 11 hours so far without eating. Believe or not it has not killed me yet. Despite this fact I have been eating the last few weeks like I was starving. I am sure that I will go overboard when I finally do eat. But I wanted to see how long I could go. To prove to myself that I will not starve and food is only fool not something to be coveted. It is completely nuts how I have been behaving toward my food and it has to stop.

Karen