Phil is trying to quit smoking. It is never pretty when he does. He gets very angry. Mostly, at me and the girls. We already had a confrontation this am and I am almost sure he probably went and got some cigars. His problem not mine. I keep telling him he has to stop half assing it.
Well, I think that's what I am doing. I have been back to WW for 5 weeks now. The first two weeks were awesome and I was as close to perfect as I am ever going to be. But these last 3 weeks I have been half assing it. Not tracking well, eating over my points and eating junk. Not exercising consitantly. Well as of today I am vowing to get my shit together. I cannot control how Phil reacts to quitting smoking. I can only be supportive. I cannot control what happens in life but I can control how I react to it.
So these are my resolutions for 2011
1. Lose 79lbs by 12/31/11
2. Work on being financially solvent
3. Be happy in my marriage
4. Walk 500 miles
5. Quit letting my weight keep me from doing anything.
The first one may be alittle optomistic but I am going to try my best. 2 & 3 are a little vague and I hope as the year progress's I can firm them up. 4 is totaly doable I am just going to have to walk alittle more on the weekends. And, 5 is within my power now. I want to enjoy my life now AND when I lose weight. So why hold off now. Well, I am not anymore.
Wish me luck, and God bless
Karen
Monday, January 3, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Bad spot...
Phil and I are in such a bad place right now. I don't know how to fix it anymore and sometimes I am not sure I want to. We can't say anything to each other without being sarcastic or snippy. Emotionally, I am wiped.
Food wise I think I am doing okay. Took a peek at my scale this morning and it showed 215.8 which would be up .8 but my scale is usually off by 2 lbs with WW scale so that would put me down a bit. We shall see on Thursday.
I am so ready to be off. 2 more days and I have a 4 day weekend. I am ready. This job is stressing me out. I am so thankful to have it but I started out in the hole and I don't know if I can fix it all. I don't know if I can figure it out. I don't want to fail these people they are so nice but I am really stressed out about it all.
Gotta go
Karen
Food wise I think I am doing okay. Took a peek at my scale this morning and it showed 215.8 which would be up .8 but my scale is usually off by 2 lbs with WW scale so that would put me down a bit. We shall see on Thursday.
I am so ready to be off. 2 more days and I have a 4 day weekend. I am ready. This job is stressing me out. I am so thankful to have it but I started out in the hole and I don't know if I can fix it all. I don't know if I can figure it out. I don't want to fail these people they are so nice but I am really stressed out about it all.
Gotta go
Karen
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I just can't seem to do it.
Blog that is. I have lots of things to say. Ask anyone who knows me. But when it comes to putting it in this blog I can't seem to do it.
It has been a rough week. Last Thursday at WI I lost 8lbs. Go me!!! But then things started falling apart. Phil and I are in a rough patch right now and I wasn't very good at pulling my punches and really let him have it. The resentment has been building for a while and I didn't have a tight enough lock on my mouth. Add to that that we were suppose to have $566.00 deposited to our bank on the 15th and it still isn't there are we are $282.00 in the red it doesn't bode well. We are at least on speaking terms right now but it feels really shaky. Earlier this week he said he had had it and was moving out. What a miserable day. He has apologized for that but I think we are still going to try some marriage counseling. Just have to find the money for that.
All that to say that I think I did alright this week with WW. I wasn't tracking until Tuesday but I did go back and track everything I ate for the week and I don't think I forgot anything. My scale shows me up .2 and I could handle that. 8lbs was incredible so I am not expecting much just don't want it to be a couple lbs up. That is so discouraging. We shall see tonight.
Karen
It has been a rough week. Last Thursday at WI I lost 8lbs. Go me!!! But then things started falling apart. Phil and I are in a rough patch right now and I wasn't very good at pulling my punches and really let him have it. The resentment has been building for a while and I didn't have a tight enough lock on my mouth. Add to that that we were suppose to have $566.00 deposited to our bank on the 15th and it still isn't there are we are $282.00 in the red it doesn't bode well. We are at least on speaking terms right now but it feels really shaky. Earlier this week he said he had had it and was moving out. What a miserable day. He has apologized for that but I think we are still going to try some marriage counseling. Just have to find the money for that.
All that to say that I think I did alright this week with WW. I wasn't tracking until Tuesday but I did go back and track everything I ate for the week and I don't think I forgot anything. My scale shows me up .2 and I could handle that. 8lbs was incredible so I am not expecting much just don't want it to be a couple lbs up. That is so discouraging. We shall see tonight.
Karen
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I'm Back...
How many times can a person say that? I rejoined WW in September and did well and than we moved back to MO and fell apart again. So I let that go on for awhile and now have gone back. In time for a whole new program. This is my first week on it and I think I am going to like it although all my favorite go to foods went up in points. But I guess that really is the point. To get us off of all that processed crap. I rejoined Thursday and so far I have done as close to perfect as I will ever get. I really like the 49 weekly points. I even had a peanut butter sandwich last night. Something, I haven't done in forever.
Just trying to get my life under some kind of control. I have been feeling so bad and I know that alot of that stems from my weight. I want to get to a point that I do not think about it 23 hours a day. It seems to consume me. Either my weight or what I am going to eat.
Activity has been a bit of a challenge. I have started walking at the mall. I can only get 30 minutes in but I say that is a victory. We are getting the family a Wii for Christmas so I am hoping eventually I can get a Wii fit. I am also going to try to start blogging again. We have internet at home so I should be able to keep up on it. I am also working on positive thinking. I will do this, I will blog more, I will love my life.
Karen
Just trying to get my life under some kind of control. I have been feeling so bad and I know that alot of that stems from my weight. I want to get to a point that I do not think about it 23 hours a day. It seems to consume me. Either my weight or what I am going to eat.
Activity has been a bit of a challenge. I have started walking at the mall. I can only get 30 minutes in but I say that is a victory. We are getting the family a Wii for Christmas so I am hoping eventually I can get a Wii fit. I am also going to try to start blogging again. We have internet at home so I should be able to keep up on it. I am also working on positive thinking. I will do this, I will blog more, I will love my life.
Karen
Friday, July 2, 2010
Depressed...
I dont know what is wrong with me. I cant seem to get out of this funk. I hate how I feel and act when I am like this. Phil was gone last week and I just fell apart. Ate like a mad woman and no exercise. This week he was home but he is so pi$$ed at his boss that the week was not very enjoyable. I need to not let his mood affect mine but how do you do that when all you want is for him to want to be with you. It's a vicious cycle.
Last night he got a call from Macke. Good friend of his. Actually, the call came in at 1:00 a.m. He was in jail. DWI and needed Phil to go to his house and get money for bail. He could only trust Phil. Mind you this is 3 1/2 hours away from us. Luckily, Phil was off today so off he went. He finally calls me at 9:30 this morning and he was just leaving. Got him out of jail and he was going to work. Of course, he had no money to give Phil for gas. That really hurts in the finances department. Phil came through here about my lunch time and do you think he would meet me for lunch. Hell no, he was to tired. Drives 3 1/2 hours to help out his drunk ass friend but doesn't have a 1/2 hour to spend with me for lunch. Drives me insane. The only time he seems to have time for me is when he wants sex. I bet that doesn't happen tonight.
On a differnt note, I ordere this weight loss product called Sensa. Don't know if it will work but I feel like shit and I cant take it anymore.
Hoping to have a good weekend this weekend. 3 day week end. Concert at park, fireworks at the lake. Sunshine and Daisy are excited, cousin Joe may come to visit. We shall see.
Have a great 4th.
Last night he got a call from Macke. Good friend of his. Actually, the call came in at 1:00 a.m. He was in jail. DWI and needed Phil to go to his house and get money for bail. He could only trust Phil. Mind you this is 3 1/2 hours away from us. Luckily, Phil was off today so off he went. He finally calls me at 9:30 this morning and he was just leaving. Got him out of jail and he was going to work. Of course, he had no money to give Phil for gas. That really hurts in the finances department. Phil came through here about my lunch time and do you think he would meet me for lunch. Hell no, he was to tired. Drives 3 1/2 hours to help out his drunk ass friend but doesn't have a 1/2 hour to spend with me for lunch. Drives me insane. The only time he seems to have time for me is when he wants sex. I bet that doesn't happen tonight.
On a differnt note, I ordere this weight loss product called Sensa. Don't know if it will work but I feel like shit and I cant take it anymore.
Hoping to have a good weekend this weekend. 3 day week end. Concert at park, fireworks at the lake. Sunshine and Daisy are excited, cousin Joe may come to visit. We shall see.
Have a great 4th.
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